FUJIN

unwrittenspokenwords:

Sometimes it’s easier to turn a blind eye. Turn a blind eye to the hurt, the pain, the struggle. It’s easier. You can’t take care of someone else when you can’t even take care of yourself. And it’s that selfishness that seeps in. Why should they expect you to take care of them when they never took care of you? It’s selfish, you know that, but you still choose to indulge in it. It’s easier to turn a blind eye when someone’s turned a blind eye to you.

The Vow just finished and I stay alone, wondering how things could’ve been or if plans could have been fulfilled if people would have stood up courageously with their words, their promises.

I couldn’t get over them. I wish I could. I really do wish I could.

     Today I realized that everything, since January, have been on replay.

     I went to a family friend’s wedding in January 2011, then a college friend’s wedding in January 2012.

     I was having happy Valentine’s days in February 2011 and 2012.

     I had my heart broken last March 29, 2011 and March 30, 2012.

     I was told I wasn’t loved anymore in April 2011 and 2012. Oh how difficult April was. Pillows were wet and sleep was elusive. April was oh so low a month.

     I attended another wedding in a workmate’s brother’s wedding last May 29, 2011, and a college friend’s wedding last May 13, 2012.

     I wonder what June 2012 has in store for me, because last June 2011, someone came in the picture…